July 2009
250 posts
Today, while walking through the park, a little...
Listen
txtsfrmlstnght:
(949): mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant…selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
this was my 21st in a nutshell
txtsfrmlstnght:
(505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don’t fuck with poptarts. It’s like baseball…it’s the backbone of american sport and you don’t change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don’t just go changing them.
fmylife:
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I’d let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
smart kid if you ask me.
NPH: You do know what the 'PH' in 'NPH' stands for, right?
Harold: Yeah, I thought it was your initials: Patrick Harris?
NPH: No, common mistake. It actually stands for Poon Handler.
fmylife:
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a “cigarette”. My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
txtsfrmlstnght:
(858): Do you think there is vodka in heaven? (619): you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
